My Desires

With Christmas just having passed, I have been thinking a lot about Jesus, as I am sure many of you have.  I have been thinking about the sacrifice Jesus made for us.  It is hard to think that Jesus knew what was coming and did not run away.  I can not understand why He would die for me, yet He did it anyway. 

When Christmas time rolls around everyone asks what I want for Christmas.  This year what I truly wanted no one on earth could give.  I wanted to see my two babies again.  I wanted to hold them and kiss them like every other mother gets to do, but I could not get that for Christmas.  Instead Grant and Nathan spent Christmas in Heaven with Jesus.  It is unbelievably humbling to know that because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us, Tom and I will be in Heaven holding our sons again one day.

Jesus already gave me the only gift I wanted this Christmas.  He was sacrificed so I could be with Grant and Nathan in Heaven.  After thinking about what He has already done for us I feel like I could never ask for anything more.  There is so much more I want.  I want to have a family with Tom.  I want to live a Godly life with a large family.  My list could go on and on.  I began to feel guilty for wanting more.  How could I ask for more when God already gave me the greatest gift of all, eternal life.  I am being so selfish asking for more than this, aren't I? 

I struggled with this for a bit.  Why was I asking God for a family?  He has already given me more than I deserve, eternal life in Heaven.  In a way I was happy to know that when I leave this earth I will be with God and my boys, but I was struggling with the fact that this may mean I may never have a family here on earth. 

I turned to the Bible for answers to the way I was feeling.  This is what I found...

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

Did I read that right?  I have read this verse many times before but does this mean that not only did God send His son to be sacrificed for our sins, but He also wants to give us the desires of our hearts?  Really?  God gave me the gift of eternal life with my sons PLUS  my heart's desires.  This is very overwhelming!  God has given me the desire for a family and I know He will fulfill this desire.

Praise God for His faithfulness in giving us our gift!